2.14.2011

A TRIUMPH OF DEPLOMACY!

Peter and I had a conversation the other day about the differences in how men and women age. He began by reminding me that men age much better than women do. Men he said, grow better looking in their 40's and 50's when salt and peppered temples add a certain sophistication to their look. By then men have made their millions or have at least made the corporate climb to a point of success, adding to their overall self-confidence, a trait that many people, women especially, find irresistible.

Taking it further, he said that as a matter of fact, men go through life without the need for make-up, hair dye, nylons, bras, high heels or other "unnatural" means of enhancing physical beauty. All the good looks men enjoy come naturally, he said.

Women he said, in their younger years are like a nice plum, ripe and sweet and juicy. As they grow older, women begin to more closely resemble raisins, lose their sweet dispositions and become mean, cranky and "pinched off".

By this point I had bitten my tongue to the verge of bleeding, my ears were ringing and I ceased to hear the words that were coming out of his old mouth. Peter became a white blur sitting across the room as brutal thoughts began to stir up righteous within me.

But old weed that I am, the more I'm cut down, the more I spring up again. It takes more than stupid remarks to keep me down. I held on.

Then Peter got up from where he was sitting and hobbled across the room. I watched his face turn beet-red from grunting as he got up from the chair and listened as his labored breath bellowed from his wrinkled face.

I didn't tell him what he said may indeed hold some truth. Or remind him that now well into his 70's he had long past those fabulous 40's and 50's. I held back telling him that after age 60 men take another turn on the "good lookin" wheel as their stomachs begin swallowing their knees and their scruffy faces give in to the pull of gravity far worse than a woman's ever will.

I thought better of reminding him that a term like "Grumpy Old Men" hasn't been coined to describe women. That women are referred to sweet little old ladies who by the way, manage to out live men three to one. Through the years, my heart has grown far too kind to have done that, so I just smiled.

3 comments:

  1. Wow good for you and your self control. Seriously. That says something that you were able to bite your tongue

    Once a guy told me that all women over the age of 25 should be drowned. Ahem. I was 27 at the time and I'm not going to tell you what I said back to him but he was so offended by my response that he left the restaurant! Good riddance!

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  2. Peter is lucky you weren't holding any sharp objects. I admire your restraint. Reading between the lines I would bet there is one thing that has not changed and that is the love between the two of you. So neat to see on this Valentine's day.

    Thanks for your kind words on my blog Keri. Comments like those keep me going.

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  3. LMAO you out did yourself on writing this piece! I would submit this to a magazine, AARP or something :) Enjoyed it!

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