2.15.2011

PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP!

Let me qualify this by stating unequivocally that I am nowhere near perfect when it comes to spelling and/or grammar. As a matter of fact, I'm one of the worlds worst spellers. A small problem that can be cause for embarrassment, but never shame. I know physicians, executives and many other very smart and successful people who can't spell their way out of a paper bag. So thank goodness for Spellcheck, right?

Where the spoken word is concerned however, the surest way to make yourself look stupid is to use expressions such as: "Yes, I seen that movie last week, and thought it was terrific"! Once it's out of your mouth there is no turning back. You've already shown the world your ignorance.

And while we're on that subject, a number of other things lately have begun to make me think of fingernails on a chalkboard and scream "MAKE IT STOP"!
For example:

1. There is no "X" in the word ESPRESSO! Say it with me: E S S P R E S S O.. See, no X!

2. The word is ORIENTED, not ORIEN'TATED'! Although I seem to hear a lot of Brits use the later, and it isn't even a word, is it?

3. Another commonly used non-word: "IRREGARDLESS"! Drop the IRR, people, please.

4. The expression: "Comfortable in your one skin"! It's tired, worn out, over used and makes me want to tear my hair out. Come on folks, Madonna used it first in a 1982 interview. Since then, it's been PLAYED TO DEATH and by the way what the F**k is it supposed to mean anyway?

Now I'm on a role!

5. Hey, men who spit in public for ANY REASON, you're rude and you're demonstrating repulsive and nasty behavior. I've been on the planet for more than 50 years and never once have I had the need to spit in public, EVER! Why do you?

6. People (women especially) who walk through a store, including through check-out while talking on their cell phones. I go shopping to be in "the Zone", that special place only a great sale rack at Macy's or Ross can take me to. I don't want to hear the flipping minutia of your life! Hang the hell up or go home, will ya?

7. How about the guy who gets in line an hour before boarding a flight, just so he can be FIRST! What are you in Kindergarten? The line hasn't even begun to form yet you selfish ass. You should be sent to the back of the line just because everyone hates you.

8. And speaking of lines, on principle, anyone at Starbucks holding a written list of special coffee drink orders to schlep back to the office should be sent to the back of the line.

9. Business women with a weak, mushy, mealy handshake. One of the first things everyone in business should master is the art of the handshake. There is an implied psychological meaning in your handshake, so get a grip. Please!

I'll spare you the things about other drivers that make me want to drive straight into them and ask, what about you? Have a PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP list of your own?

6 comments:

  1. I have one! When you are in a line, no matter where, and the person behind you in line feels the need to climb up your ass and breathe on you with their stank breath! I want to punch those people in the face and tell them to back the F&#% off! :)

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  2. OMG, I'm going to get in trouble at work for reading this instead of doing what they supposedly pay me to do! Literally had to cover my mouth to keep from bursting out at some of this. Too true, too funny -- all of it!!!

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  3. Now I know why I like you. Number 9 says it all. For a woman to acknowledge this tells oodles about her character. I feel the same way times 10 when it comes to a mans handshake.

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  4. You had me checking off on all these lists, if I was guilty of any! I also looked down to see if my skirt or hose were stuck in my panties when I left the restroom! Your so funny! you crack me up every time!

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  5. LOL

    you forgot the people who leave their blinker on forever after turning...and it blinks...and blinks....andblinks....it annoys me ALOT (haha did you get that one too?)

    oh and thank you for joining Good Friends Just Click. I'm GFC following
    www.mamalovesherbargains.com

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  6. Ew...the wimpy handshake...especially from a man!


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