Showing posts with label Aging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aging. Show all posts

4.15.2011

WHAT A SHELF LIFE!

I Googled the word "aging" yesterday and this photo popped up again. I wonder about this poor woman, who she is and how she must feel about having her face splashed all over creation..... and with an expiration date stamped across her brow no less.

According to popular belief she's too feeble minded to know how to turn on a computer much less surf the net so she could be blissfully unaware of the exploitation..... but I wonder....

Photos like this speak volumes about where ageism is in this country. How about alive, well and free to dwell in cyberspace ..... but an expiration date? Really?

Maybe using a bar code like they do on cottage cheese wouldn't be so offensive, or what about stamping it on a less obvious body part like the bottom of the foot or something..... but right across the forehead? Really?

To be fair, I think if we're going to openly tag people for identity purposes we should do it the American way and include everyone. But instead of using dates we could use adjectives, in which case this ladies forehead would just read "OLD". Then stupid or rude people could be just as easily picked out of a crowd.

Think about it.... fat people, short people, obnoxious people, sweet people, rich people, terrorist people......... the possibilities are endless. What's more, depending on the size of ones forehead, multiple words could even be used, like degenerate gambler, closet homosexual, cancer victim... let's face it (no pun intended) this could be big.... real big!

Since tattoos are all the rage right now this could catch on like wildfire and for once my timing would be impeccable. This is very exciting. I would love to hear your take on the idea, a little collaboration is always healthy and of course credit will be given where credit is due, what say you?

2.05.2010

Feeble Is As Feeble Reads!

Ms. Michele Thompson of Seniors for Living has published a list of 53, count them, FIFTY THREE things that in her opinion get better with age. I won't include the explanations she offered as to WHY she thinks these particular 53 things get better with age. Ga'head, read them yourself, let them wash over you (along with an occasional comment from me in red) and see if you're in agreement with her. Frankly, my Dear Ms. Thompson, I think you're stretching ..... really stretching:

1. Wisdom ~ okay
2. Life stories ~ not necessarily
3. Emotional stability ~ uh huh
4. Body image ~ oy
5. Brain games
6. Vocabulary ~ I'm in agreement here, whew!
7. Attention
8. Problem-solving skills
9. Expert knowledge
10. Self-awareness
11. Patience
12. Self-esteem
13. Resilience - and the alternative would be....?
14. Acuity
15. Common sense ~ come on, if you have it now, you probably had it when you were 20.
16. Admiration
17. Humor
18. Muscle maturity ~ yeah, also teeth maturity, bone maturity, FLESH maturity, etc.
19. Sports training ~ what ever she's smoking, I want some
20. Marriage
21. Sex ~ what ever she's injecting, I want some
22. Family ~ living or dead?
23. Grand kids
24. Friendships
25. Networking
26. Fido and Fluffy ~ you mean PETS?
27. The love and appreciation of others
28. Cheese ~ okay, now we're talkin
29. Eggs ~ you mean before they're cracked?
30. Beef
31. Casseroles ~ huh?
32. Liquors ~ good one
33. Cookbooks
34. Cooking skills
35. Seedlings
36. Fruit trees
37. Shade trees
38. Gardens and fields
39. Soil ~ aren't 36 thru 39 the same things?
40. Compost ~ wow, is this bitch reaching or what?
41. A bird's song ~ c o m e o n lady!
42. Antiques and collectibles
43. Style
44. Real estate ~ this used to be true
45. Diversified investment portfolios
46. Money-saving perks ~ oh yeah? you mean senior discounts at the movies? LOL!
47. Leather
48. Sheets ~ jeeeez, is she serious here?
49. Clothing
50. Classic cars and sports cars
51. Scrapbooking or photo album collections
52. Educational travel opportunities
53. Collection of mementos

Can't believe she missed the obvious. One of the things that really does USUALLY get better with age, but not ALWAYS... WINE!! So much for my patience. People like this need to be slapped. She sat at her computer and thought this stuff up and then published it for feeble minded people to read. Ugggggg... Okay, now I'm compelled to sit down and write a list of my own. One hundred and one things that make me want to strangle other people, perhaps? Watch for the post. In the interim, send me your thoughts on this. Am I the only one that needs a martini after reading such tripe? Help me out here, people.