5.24.2010

FERGIE FUCKS UP!

Yes indeed. Secret video footage all over the Internet and on the news shows Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York couched in front of a coffee table. On it, are a bottle of wine, a gigantic ashtray and about $70,000.00 cash.

The wine I suspect was not her first bottle that day, and in the big blue ashtray burns a "fag" which Sarah draws on several times during the video. The money is advanced payola for Sarah who for all intent and purposes has just sold her soul in exchange for access to her ex-hubbie, Prince Andrew.

Video taping the whole set-up is a journalist, posing as a business man. In a nut shell, this guy helped Sarah pimp-out the Father of her children! Whew! Who could make this stuff up?

Click on the link above to view the video and read about how sorry Sarah is to have sunk so low. But before you do, here are my not-so-humble predictions:

Providing she can come up with the money, Sarah will take up residency in the United States as soon as possible (I wouldn't be surprised to learn she's already here) where she will soon admit to the world she has a substance abuse problem (alcohol perhaps), and we'll see her next season on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew

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Once released from rehab, she'll write a book and appear on Oprah. Shortly thereafter, Sarah will star in her own reality TV show where we can tune in each week and watch her and a quirky crew of misfits go about the business of writing children's books and attending AA meetings. America will forgive her her trespasses and England will spend the next decade unraveling the truth about the real Fergie and forever view her as a skank. The End.

3 comments:

  1. You always nail the point so well, Keri! So glad to have found this other blog of yours! Now I have to catch on on Sandwich 365 AND this one! Whew! I have a lot of readin' to do. :D

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  2. She is already here and it's been reported that she is looking to move to NYC. You are "spot on"!

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  3. OHHH NOOO! How did I miss this post!

    I saw that on 'Soup' one night. I could so confess that I have been in her shoes, but a minimal experience and I was not video taped...I married a man who makes a very nice living, and got used to all the perks of being his wife, but when he lost his job to cut backs...I had to get used to being poor again. It must be hard for someone like her to have all that wealth and prestige then only to be cast out (by her own accord I know) into what she feels is poverty. Okay my story is not that bad LOL but it makes for some good drama! LOL Now my sister is calling and I am cracking myself up...now there is another good poverty story...my sister.

    Keri- I bet if you and I talked for real over coffee, we would crack each other up!

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