YOUTH IN EYES!

OHHHH Yikes!!!

Dear Al Pacino,

When I look into your smoldering, young eyes I see that sexy, intensely masculine smooth criminal, Michael Corleone from "The Godfather". More importantly, I see my own youth!!!

I shall never forget the night I walked out of the Kuhio Street movie theatre in Honolulu. It was 1971 and I had just seen "The Godfather" for the first time. Mesmerized, I walked up the rain slicked street several blocks to where I worked as a waitress.

This amazing movie, that haunting score and watching Pacino for the very first time had me walking on a cloud. I half expected to find him sitting at The Oyster Bar Lounge when I arrived to work my shift that night.

Since then, I've seen The Godfather/Godfather Part II more than 80 times. I'm thinking this makes me an official die-hard, and as such, I refuse to acknowledge Godfather Part III. In my opinion, it just didn't live up to One and Two. But I digress....

Al Pacino earned a special place in my heart that night in 1971, and he has lived there ever since. So imagine the SHOCK and FEAR that blazed through my body when I saw his face on Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians, the blog.

Shocked to see his photo appear on this particular site, and in fear of the reality that I could dig out 2 photos of myself, one from 71, one from now, and let the world react to how time has ravaged my head shot.

Of course I would never subject myself to this kind of humiliation, but in Pacino's case, having the world poke fun at how you're aging comes with the territory, after all, "this is the business he's chosen".

DEAR JOHN!

Dear John Edwards,

Look out, you're two ticks away from looking like an old lesbian yourself (see this post). Now is NOT the time to give Rielle any reason to stray, and lets face it, being a man on the verge of looking like an old lesbian is right up there with being a Cancer victim. Nothing will send a girl running for the hills faster. But don't panic yet, as long as you still need to shave every morning and the outcome of your $53 million dollar divorce settlement remains to be seen, life with Ms. Hunter and your new baby should be all good.

I know you didn't ask for it, but when it comes to your relationship with former Aide Andrew Young, I would highly recommend heeding the advise of one Vito Corleone and keep Andrew and his lovely wife closer to you now than ever before. Never mind what he has written about you in his book "The Politician", word has it his motivation for writing the book was purely for financial gain, so you see, it's just business, nothing personal.

Just think, you came so close to being Commander and Chief of the United States Military. The President of the United States of America, where your high moral ground, keen sense of integrity, honor and commitment could have shown brightly for the world to see. What a shame.

And lets give credit where credit is due, your Wife Elizabeth is a smart woman. She's bound to come to her senses about all of this sooner or later and decide to bury the hatchet. If not, you can wait and bury it with her. Patience, friend.

Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians!

Hey, it's only fair that an older woman (me) gets to take a shot at men. In particular old men, many of whom just a few short years ago were trading in their first wives for younger, more beautiful, childbearing wives. They're out there by the millions. Older men who have turned that special corner in the aging process when they stop looking like well preserved, salt & peppered hunks and begin to take on the look of an old lesbian. Ahh the irony. Many of these guys are famous, and my guess is that plastic surgery, botox, hair dye and hair cuts are responsible for this miraculous metamorphosis that seems to plague them after a "certain age".

Case in point, Mr. Bruce Jenner. As a matter of fact, I think he actually IS an old lesbian who has just been "passing" for generations, so he may not be the best example. There are plenty of other good examples like Rick James, Roger Ebert, Don Imus and Steven Cojocaru, but I won't spoil the fun and show them here. If you want to see example after example, there's a website at menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com where they're all pictured and you can even submit your own man who looks like an old lesbian, as long as he's famous.

Cruel? yes. Unusual? perhaps, but somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind I'm feeling justified in having a good laugh about it and writing this post. Do I believe in Karma? Yes, but some things are simply worth the risk. Tell me, do you think I have a mean streak? Am I spewing sour grapes here? Should I light a candle and repent, seek therapy? or am I so starved for a good laugh that I'll stoop low enough to do it at the expense of some old lesbians feelings? Don't be shy, tell me what you really think. Oh, and don't forget to check out the website at menwholooklikeoldlesbians! Ciao