2.19.2010

RUH RO!

I watched Tiger Woods today as he held a 13 minute press conference, apologizing to his people and to the world for being such a dog. I thought he did a magnificent job delivering a well articulated and thoroughly humble message to one and all.

Regular TV programming was preempted, and the station I was watching held commentary immediately after. I've yet to hear from anyone else, but George Stephanopoulos and his colleagues were literally GUSHING over his statements. Had Tiger just delivered the Sermon on the Mount? You'd have thought so. Another reporter spoke in a hushed, even, tone like he was delivering blow-by-blow action from the 9th tee.

No doubt the rest of the world will tune in tonight and then at the water cooler on Monday morning, react accordingly. Yes, Tiger is a dog, but in the eyes of the media (and therefore 98% of the people) this dog is home-free, forgiven, cleansed of his sins and back in the doghouse (rehab) to further focus on his addiction (doggedness). After delivering his statement, Tiger left the podium and buried his face on his Mommy's shoulder, hugging her for a good long time. Awwww!
I'm going out on a limb here and making a prediction. If she hasn't done so already, Tiger's wife will take him back, he'll be on the golf course in 2010, and by this time next year, we will all have forgotten about his canine ways. Except of course for his wife who will never be able to trust his lying, cheating ass again as long as she lives. How short do you think the leash will be?

2 comments:

  1. You've already read what I think of Mr. Wood's so-called speechifying (which was really sad I think because he acted like a robot standing up there, connected to an old-fashioned computer punch-card input device from the '60's, those which I've actually seen and possibly even used) and, after not taking any questions, he walked stiffly off the stage to return to sex therapy (which is only a bar of soap with a hole drilled in it...or so I've heard).

    He's not fooling me. Or Erin either.

    Stick a fork in him; he's done.

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  2. Well, I agree that by this time next year all will be forgotten and he'll be the hottest new old thing on the course.

    I did think that his apology was sincere however his delivery was a bit forced. If he'd come out and said what he said in a more heartfelt manner (by not reading and looking into the cam at such rehearsed moments) it would have come across a bit better.

    I'm def on Team Elin!

    ReplyDelete

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